Office dares
Total office insanity - but it would make the days much more entertaining!
ONE POINT DARES
- Run one lap around the office at top speed.
- Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle (at least one other ‘non-player’
must be in the bathroom at the time).
- Ignore the first five people who say ‘good morning’ to you.
- Call someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say,
“Just called to say I can’t talk right now. Bye.”
- To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears.
- When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper
huskily, “Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!”
- Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
“Sorry, I really prefer it this way”.
- Walk sideways to the photocopier.
- While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors
open.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
with that.
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
- Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
- Dont use any punctuation
THREE POINT DARES
- Say to your boss, “I like your style” and shoot him with
double-barreled fingers.
- Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, “Did you get all
that, I don’t want to have to repeat it.”
- Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
- Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(there must be a ‘non-player’ within sight).
- Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle
sounds all day.
FIVE POINT DARES
- At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you
actually launch into it yourself).
- Walk into a very busy person’s office and while they watch you with
growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
- For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as “Bob.”
- Announce to everyone in a meeting that you “really have to go do a
number two.”
- After every sentence, say ‘mon’ in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
“the report’s on your desk, mon.” Keep this up for one hour.
- While an officemate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
- In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and
mutter, “Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!”
- At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, “As God is my
witness, I’ll never go hungry again.”
- Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask “You wanna trade?”
- Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: “Do you
hear that?” “What?” “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
- Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, “I can’t talk
about it.”
- Posing as a maitre d’, call a colleague and tell him he’s won a lunch
for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.
- Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very
important conference call.
- Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.
- Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants
and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.
- Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each
biscuit with your fist.
- During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the
door.
- In the subject field for all your e-mails, write ” FOR SEXUAL FAVORS.”
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
